Uniquely Chic

Everyone loves getting flowers. Even if it's because you turned 40. It's even better if you get an arrangement that's called "Uniquely Chic":

Isn't it chic? The online description says it's a "vibrant mixture of opulent orange and zesty pink flowers casually arranged in a clear glass cube container." Who doesn't love zesty flowers?

I guess it could be easily confused by the delivery guy with this:


I can't find this one on the website, but I'm thinking the description would be something like "an earthy mixture of generic daisies, crunchy purple buds, and plastic berries in a terra cotta pot."

Don't get me wrong--I'm grateful to get flowers of any kind. They are both beautiful, and I was happy with the arrangement and most importantly for the thought behind it. But if the person sending them thinks that they sent something that is "chic" then what is actually delivered shouldn't be the complete opposite.

Uber Christmas Lights

I would never want this at my house, and I'm very thankful that none of my neighbors do either, but it is still very cool. Apparently it took them over 6 months to set up and there are over 200,000 lights.

The New Spam

It seems like the Spam I've been getting lately has reached a whole new level. The products haven't changed much,
as the bulk of them are usually related to male enhancement, rolex watches, or debt reduction. But I have seen some emails in my inbox lately that are a bit more sophisticated than the standard Spam.

The scams are essentially the same, mostly looking for verification of my passwords and account numbers. Some also try the approach of offering a job. (Working just 3 hours a week sitting at my computer receiving payments into my bank account does sound tempting.) The classic is still out there, of course: the exiled Nigerian royalty that needs help getting $80 million dollars out of the country. But this one that my junk filter didn't catch today is a different twist on that approach, and it just struck me as really funny.


Dear Friend,

You do not know me and neither do I know you. I am not desperate nor in
need of help.I only want to be sure you are the kind of person I can trust
with the following proposal.

I have been very careful in my selection and have taken pains to ensure I
will be dealing with a person that has the intelligence to understand what
I am getting myself into. From the little I have been able to deduce, I
cannot make you agree to partner with me on this but I can assume that
when you are in, I can trust you completely.

I am a UK based lawyer and I am bringing everything I have to the table;
my reputation and all I have labored for my whole life. The least I ask
of you, is for you, after hearing the proposal to honestly tell me if
you are up for it or not, without acting maliciously. That way, I get to
loose nothing and can walk away with my proposal and reputation intact
without actually divulging full details.

I bear the full brunt of any risk involved in this business which I cannot
do alone and you can be rest assured that you will be duly compensated
financially for your involvement. The thing is, anyone can serve but I
chose you. I pray you don't let me down. For more details if interested
by email(richardbillingham2009@gmail.com)

The fact of the proposal involves access to millions of Tax-Free United
States Dollars. It is up to you to accept or decline. I am waiting to hear
from you.Time is of the essence.

Yours faithfully,
Richard Billingham
richardbillingham2009@gmail.com
+44702 406 7973


Although as he states right in the beginning Richard doesn't need help, and even though he has carefully selected ME, I left his contact information in case anyone is interested. If it works out for you you owe me a finder's fee.

Dear Santa:

For Christmas this year, all I really want is new toys. Lots and lots of new toys. My stash is running really low right now, as low as it has ever been. I admit that I can be a little tough on them sometimes, but that's doesn't mean I shouldn't get them. Check out the pathetic state of my toys right now, you'll see how badly I need some new ones.

These are probably my best ones.




It's all downhill after those.




I'm a big fan of bunnies. I use them for training for bunny patrol.





I've been a really good girl this year. (Does "this year" include just the time between last Christmas and now? Because this:

happened before last Christmas. So did the incident with the tree.)

If I get some new toys for Christmas this year, I promise to be extra good all year long. And I'll try my best not to totally destroy them all the first day I get them. Thank you in advance, Santa. You're awesome.

Love,
Luna

PhotoHunt: Blue

I had to go with a picture from my trip to San Diego last week, because the sky there is just SO blue. Cloudless and just endless, gorgeous blue. The ocean isn't too bad either.

Someone there told me that they have 300 perfect weather days every year. I guess that's makes it easier to handle all of the other crap they have to deal with (freeways, forest fires, earthquakes...)

Not Intended for Children Under...10?

I Am Legend is on HBO this month, and I just recently finished watching it. I say "finished" because the first time I sat down to watch it it started to freak me out and since I was planning on trying to sleep soon, I decided to Tivo the rest of it and watch it later. It took me a few more nights to get through the whole thing. Not because it was a bad movie, but because it was seriously creeping me out, and watching something that makes my stomach all tight and my heart pound right before bed doesn't generally lead to a solid night's sleep for me. Once I got past the scene where--*spoiler alert if you haven't seen it, but it's not like you can't see it coming*--the dog dies, I did relax a bit. That was just something that was building and the anticipation and dread of waiting to see what happened to her put me totally on edge.

In a discussion at work the other day about the movie (after everyone finished laughing at me), someone casually mentioned that her son loves the movie and probably knows every line from it. Her son is just a few weeks younger than my daughter who is NINE. We also talked about horror movies in general, and several of the movies that were brought up I remember as being pretty scary when I saw them as a teenager (Halloween, Texas Chainsaw Massacre, When a Stranger Calls). I would never let my daughter watch them now, but again, my friend with the 9 year-old boy thinks nothing of letting him watch scary movies like these.

I think part of her logic is that he is a boy, and boys view that kind of scary, gory stuff differently. That may be true, but I still think there is a certain basic maturity level that should be present before a child is exposed to certain things. Trust me, my daughter is WAY more mature than this kid, and there is no way she is viewing some of the stuff he might be allowed to see.

When I was a kid I was never allowed to watch R rated movies. I don't think PG-13 existed yet. When we first got HBO I remember sneaking down to the basement to watch some movies in the middle of the night. I kept the sound really low and stood right in front of the TV, ready to shut it off if anyone came down. (Pre-remote days, of course.) My parents might have been a bit extreme, as by junior high I'm sure I could have handled at least some R rated films. But I think I'm glad I wasn't allowed to watch them at age 9.

Even though I'm not a huge fan of horror movies, I still think this quiz is really cool. After 7 minutes I only had 21 out of 50.

I Never Win Anything

Do you know anyone who always seems to win things? Someone who whenever there is a random drawing at an event, they always seem to have their ticket drawn? The person who knows nothing about sports yet just happens to win the Super Bowl pool? I think everyone knows one of those people. I am definitely NOT one of them. I usually don't even bother to stick around for drawings at the end of things, because I know I won't win. Just doesn't happen for me. I'm OK with that, I'm used to it. So I'm not really sure why I'm bothering to take a chance with this contest. Maybe it's because I didn't post anything about 9/11, and this is sort of my chance to do that. Or it could be because I have writer's block and have nothing else to post. If you click over and decide to enter because you saw it here, take pity on me and split your prize with me.

Baby Steps

I admire the way that some of my favorite bloggers really put themselves out there with some of their posts. From sharing a diary, to details about a colonoscopy, to intimate thoughts and experiences, it is amazing how open and honest they can be. While I'm perfectly comfortable writing about sports, my garden, my dogs, or Nintendo, I can't imagine being able to write about really personal thoughts and experiences like that.

I didn't even really want to post a picture of myself, until I was Simpsonized.
Baby steps.

Wild Wonderful Web

The internet has become so much a part of most people's everyday lives by now, that I think we sometimes take for granted just how great it is. This week alone there were numerous tricky and important questions that we asked the almighty internet:

1. How do you get chewed gum out of the pocket of a pair of shorts that have just been washed and dried? (This totally worked, by the way.)

2. Tomatoes are taking over the kitchen, what ELSE can we do with them? Decided not to do this, but tomato jam isn't too bad.)

3. Is there any chance I can get PSU tickets for just one decent game this year? (Answer: Yes, if I'm willing to pay a LOT for them.)

4. If I'm not going to a Penn State game, will I maybe get to see the Phillies in the playoffs? (Answer: An optimistic "Yes!", because that's what Philly teams do to you--make it to the post season, THEN crush your hopes.)

5. Will the Eagles beat the Steelers this week? (Answer: Yes. We should have won the Cowboy game on Monday night, and the Steelers are nowhere near as good as....I can't even type that the Cowboys are good. Monday's game took my hatred of them to a whole new level. Let's just say that after Monday's game I feel like we can beat the Steelers. If you aren't from PA you might not appreciate this take on the game, but I liked it.)

Isn't the internet handy?

PhotoHunt: Strings

This was a tough one. These are technically chains, but I think that is in the same family as strings, right? This is a shot from Ocean City, New Jersey, June of this year. I had to take about half a dozen shots before I timed it correctly to get my kid as she swung (swinged? swang?) by me. She is the one on the left, having fun, but concentrating on squeezing her toes to hold her flip-flops on her feet.

Photohunt: Beautiful

From the iPhoto library, circa August 2003. It was the first year for the birds in their new stadium. I remember seeing that our seats were in the 200 section and expecting them to be really good. Little did I know that at Lincoln Financial Field the 200 level is the same as the 700 level used to be at Veteran's Stadium. The same because we were almost at the very top of the stadium, and because the 2 children with us (aged 3 and 4) did not deter anyone around us from yelling, cursing, throwing things, and fighting. (Click the link if you have no idea what I'm talking about.) Remember, this was just a meaningless preseason game, too. Ahh, Philly. A beautiful thing. Is it football season yet? I'm ready!! E-A-G-L-E-S Eagles!

You Know, For Kids

Ever since we got to try out the Wii Fit at a recent outdoor music festival, we've been dying to get it. It took a couple of months, but Amazon finally came through. After just 1/2 hour with it, I have decided that I totally love it. There are 3 reasons:

1. My Wii Fit age is 7 years less than my actual age.

2. The Wii Fit as a scale is NOT the same as the scale in my doctor's office. Let's just say I'm going with Wii Fit as my scale from now on. (And if adding the extenders to the bottom to take into account the thicker carpet would correct this, I'm pretty sure I lost them.)

3. In Wii Fit, I can hula hoop like a madwoman. I cannot hula hoop in real life. Never could, not for more than about 6 seconds. In the world of Wii, I can have multiple hoops going, while still leaning and catching more. Kinda like this picture, only with a much higher score.



I've set my goal, and I gave myself 2 months to achieve it. Hopefully I will still love my Wii by then.

Photohunt: Wrinkled

This is a shot from Venice Beach, California, from June 2003. His shirt is completely wrinkled, it's tough to see unless you enlarge the picture I guess. The wrinkles in his pants are pretty obvious, aren't they? I remember that it was a really sunny day, but kind of breezy. I tipped the guy at least a buck, I'm sure, and I don't think he moved the whole time I stood there. Tough way to make a living.

This is my Photohunt from my current iPhoto library. (Hey, that's hunting too.) I'll be on the lookout today for a current shot to add for the theme. Although I think the only place I'm going is the mall, and while I know I will see plenty of wrinkles there, I doubt I'll photograph them!

If you happen to know a little something about cameras, leave a suggestion in your comments of a good camera you'd recommend. I have a Canon Elph, which is perfect to grab and go because it is so small. But I'm now thinking I might like an upgrade, something with a better lens, something I might even have to take a class to learn how to use. If you have one you like that is not too ridiculously expensive, please tell me what kind it is.

As Seen On TV

Since we got Tivo a few years ago, I rarely watch commercials. Even if I'm watching something "live", I find some reason to pause it for a few minutes and end up being about 15 minutes behind. Just enough to be able to utilize the fabulous 30-second skip feature and blow past all of the commercials.

When I am forced to watch commercials, the infomercial types are my favorite. Not just the 30-minute type, but even the normal length ones that tout amazing products. I admit that I own several of these "As Seen on TV" products. And there are a few that I want. There are also a few that I don't ever want.

I Have These

Turbie Twist Purchased at Bed Bath & Beyond many years ago for the bargain price of 2 for $10. Works just as advertised, although I only use it immediately after the shower, I don't wear it hanging out around the house.

Wen My most recent purchase, I found a big selection on Amazon so I decided to splurge and try it. It's very unique, and although it does make my hair feel really nice, I'm not sure that it's worth the price--around 3 times as much as my previous shampoo. Also has a strong menthol thing going on, so it feels like smearing Vicks Vapo-Rub all over your head, which is a bit odd until you get used to it.

OpenX I couldn't resist this purchase, found somewhere last year while Christmas shopping. I thought it would make Christmas morning and all of those maddening plastic packages a bit easier to deal with. It works basically as advertised, worth the $10 I paid for it I guess.

One Touch Can Opener I got this as a gift, and I must say it totally works as advertised, and I use it all the time.

Aqua Globes I saw these at CVS a few weeks ago and figured why not? Looking at my jungle of tomato plants, you might think that my houseplants are thriving. Not so. Aqua Globes seem to have helped, although you clearly have to use them in the proper sized plant or the results won't be so great.

Slim in 6 This is the only product I remember ever ordering after watching the 30 minute infomercial. I was at my Mom's house and couldn't sleep, and there isn't much on at 4:00 am. Not that it makes it much better, but I didn't call the 800 number, I did go to the computer and order it online. It sat unopened in my closet for about 9 months, then this spring I remembered it and tried it out. It's basically an exercise DVD and some resistance bands. For $75. One of the bands broke after 3 weeks of daily use, and when I emailed them about it they wouldn't send me a new one.

I Want These

Peticure This is brilliant. Have you ever cut a dog’s toenails and cut a teeny bit too short? Do you know that it just bleeds for half an hour and there is nothing you can do? Anything that can help me avoid that fiasco again I’m all for.

ShamWow It’s made in Germany, and you know they make good stuff. (??)

Tobi I only iron when it is absolutely necessary. This makes getting wrinkles out look fun!


I Won’t Be Buying These

PedEgg This probably works just fine, but seeing the egg filled with flakes of dried foot skin dumped into the trash-can in the commercial is just too gross.

Inner Health Sole Pads Maybe these work too, but I don’t really want to see all of my body’s toxins on a pad I pull off of the bottom of my feet. Other than socks, shoes, and pedicures, I don’t really need much else for my feet I guess.

I have a feeling that there are many people that like these types of products WAY more than I do. Any that you'd care to recommend?

Gorgeousness and Gorgeosity Made Flesh

I'd like to thank my landscaper, for the lovely soil he brought me; the nursery, for the perfect (once) little tomato plants; mother nature, for her generous rain showers at critical junctures; my next door neighbor, for his meticulous watering while we were on vacation; my daughter, for her help and hope and for bursting into song with each of our first fruits; and last but not least, Luna, my diligent, fierce beaglador bunny patrol.


She deserves a rest, she's been busy.

PhotoHunt: Clouds

My new weekly ritual, I think, is going to be Saturday PhotoHunt. It's fun to scroll through iPhoto looking for the perfect picture for the theme. This is from Portland, Maine, October 2003. It was beautiful, but colder than I expected. I don't recall seeing the sun too much that whole trip, but I guess you don't really go to Maine in October for sun. You go for lobster.

Update 9:30pm
I found myself very aware of the clouds today, and I took this picture about an hour ago. It was sunny, but the breeze was rolling in along with the dark sky. Luckily we made it home before any rain.

PhotoHunt: Hanging

Thought doing the weekly PhotoHunt might be fun. (Actually, I've wanted to do it for a couple of weeks now, but couldn't find a good picture for the themes. That's probably not how it's supposed to work.) This pic is from the Andy Warhol museum in Pittsburgh, thought it fit the theme quite nicely.

I Don't Like My Wordle

The latest craze seems to be the Wordle. By "latest craze" I mean a few of my favorite bloggers have done it. Since JD did it I don't really have to, but I did anyway. Here's what I got for my blog:

I don't like it because it seems boring to me. I'm not really sure what I was expecting, but I think the fact that the biggest word is "know" basically says it all. Borrrring.

I thought maybe if I took my resume and made a Wordle I'd like it better. Not so much:


Don't judge a blog by its Wordles. I'm going to keep checking, and maybe eventually I'll get a kick-ass Wordle.

iPod Meme

I saw this meme and thought it was interesting. Lately everything I write just ends up as an unfinished draft, and I can't quite get a complete post about any single thing done. So I thought this might be interesting, and would motivate me to get my iPod over to the computer for some much needed updating.

I followed these rules, but I did delete some of the questions. (Just the ones that pertained to dating and generally being single.)

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question.

To make it more interesting, I also did a google image search on the song titles, and used an image from the first page for each one, without using any album covers or pictures of the artists.

Q: What does next year have in store for you?

Seven Seas of Rhye--Queen

(On the Greatest Hits album, I decided to look it up. The Wikipedia description of it is pretty interesting.)

Q: What do you say when life gets hard?

Those Bold City Girls--The Shins

Q: Song that reminds you of good times?

Afternoon--Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers

Q: What do you think when you get up in the morning?

The Ballad of the Little Man--World Party

Q: Song that reminds you of your first kiss?

Bob Dylan's 49th beard--WILCO

Q: Your favourite saying?

Only the Stones Remain--Robyn Hitchcock & The Egyptians

Q: Favourite place?

Men Just Leave--Glen Phillips

Q: Most Missed Memory?

Is Anything--The Judybats

Q: What song describes your best friend?

F-Hole--Squeeze

Q: Where would you go on a first date?

Madonna of the Wasps--Robyn Hitchcock & The Egyptians

(My shuffle seems to always go heavy on Robyn. If you don't know him, go here, and about halfway through he tells what this song is about. That's pretty much Robyn in a nutshell.)

Q: Drug of choice?

Nothing Left to Borrow--The Jayhawks

Q: What song describes yourself?

Train Going Backwards--Dramarama

Q: What is the thing you like doing most?

Cruel To Be Kind--Nick Lowe

Q: The song that best describes the president?

The Everyday Story of Smalltown--XTC

Q: Where will you be in 10 years?

Anna Begins--Counting Crows

Q: What is your state of mind like at the moment?

My Old School--Steely Dan

Q: How will you die?

Motor of Love--Paul McCartney